By Femi Akinwumi
I have a neighbor who sent her adolescent child for elementary school in America while she lived with her husband in Nigeria. Some parents did this for their kids to go abroad for high school education while some do it at undergraduate levels.
The immediate thought of most parents who can afford such expensive investments in their children is giving them the best of education in a better environment.
Most of us tend to forget education is not all about academics. Educating a child includes learning about cultures, ways of life, behavioral patterns, etiquettes etc.
Sending your children abroad at tender ages while you do not live with them is not different from a distant relationship between a couple. You’ll be very lucky if you can sustain the relationship afterwards.
A friend came into my house about 4 years ago, bringing his 16-year old daughter for my advice. She got an admission to study Engineering in a Canadian university as an undergraduate. The two of them sat down while I asked basic questions about the man’s finances. He told me how he was going to sell his only land to raise the tuition.
When I asked him what he would sell the following year, he was speechless. I also asked if he was going to abandon a 16-year old girl in a foreign land without being able to check on her regularly and also bring her back home when on holidays, he couldn’t respond.
I turned to the young lady and gently advised her not to put her parents under undue pressure. I told her to take the option of going into a university in Nigeria, and she could go for a masters program abroad when she is done. She saw reasons, agreed with me, and took the option of going into a Nigerian private university.
Fast-forward to a few days ago. The father called me with so much excitement. The daughter has been given a student visa to go study for a masters degree in one of the most prestigious Engineering schools in Canada.
What has she really lost? Nothing. Rather, she has had the opportunity to develop well in her own environment before launching into a foreign land while under the tutelage of her parents.
My candid advice to younger parents; please, do not be in a hurry to push your children out. Education is not only about academics. There are a lot involved in parenting, and a child becoming a total person.
It is not to your advantage when your children are too far away from you as they develop. You have a higher chance of losing relationships with them when they are too far away from you, and all your investments gone into ruins.
Home or abroad, a child that would succeed will succeed. It is survival of the fittest out there, in foreign lands without parental or family support, financially, morally and socially.
Nigerian parents, please stop putting yourself under undue financial pressure in a “rat race” to send your children abroad especially at tender ages.
How about the risk of losing out completely when the parents grow old as the children are completely alienated from a home environment they aren’t familiar with? This is another topic for another day.
May knowledge and wisdom not be far from us.
Femi Akinwumi is the
Chairman of
Ekiti State Universal Basic Education Board (EK – SUBEB).
